- New iSomethingOrOther
- Jobs to abandon black turtlenecks
- No one beats our crazy low prices
- Mac OS abandoned in favor of Debian
- Apple market share doubled, now up to 1%
- New machines will be made of white plastic
- Lot of new Mac viruses so Mac users don't feel left out
- Now, less compatibility
- Steve Jobs should rename the MacWorld Expo to iReveal
- Not even close. Try the iSueAnyoneWhoPostsInsideSecretsSoonerThanOtherwise
- iBodyGuard, to protect people's iPods from the iPod killers.
- Bill Gates is Steve Jobs' father. And he wants him to join the dark side. And then he'll cut off his hand, and together they'll invent the bluetooth iHand.